Alright, so you have all heard of The Wizard of Oz, right? You all know Dorothy and the tin man, but do you know the other side of the story? I don’t mean the evil version, but I do mean where Snow Cones vanish forever, Dorothy lends her ruby red slippers and the Wicked Witch of the West’s 34th times removed 2nd cousin on her step aunt’s side of the family melts. Does it sound familiar? Well it all started with Carmen and Elphaba Rodriguez in the south part of the Land of Oz. Carmen is a girl who loves Snow Cones. She absolutely loves Snow Cones and she gets them every day down at the Snow Cone Palace, a Snow Cone vendor in Hodgkin’s Alley which is the official vendor’s street. One particularly warm afternoon, Carmen was skipping along with her pet unicorn, Angelina when Elphaba happened to be looking out of the window in her very nice apartment. I could say so myself because I have been in for tea and biscuits, but anyway. Elphaba was watching Carmen eat her Snow Cone and she realized that Snow Cones make little children too happy so she decided to take them away forever. She was planning to rule the world someday, and without the nasty brats around she would finally be able to make her dreams come true! But how?? Meanwhile, Carmen was enjoying her Snow Cone when she decided that her life was going so great. Snow Cones were as great as ever and her unicorn was healthy. Everything was perfect, or so she thought.
Later after Elphaba had decided that she was going to take away Snow Cones, she started to build a shrink ray. That way she could shrink all the Snow Cone vendors and keep them in a box in her closet with 4 locks. Her plan was coming along well. She was working extra fast for she was going to shrink all the Snow Cone vendors at night so people would wake up to misery and sorrow. She loved watching other people suffer. She was very evil. That following night, she put her plan into action. The next morning, all the citizens of her crummy town would wake up to nothing but sadness. The next morning, as the sun was coming up over the horizon, Elphaba reminded herself that this perfect day will go to waste in the hands of many of her fellow citizens and she felt 10 times happier while Carmen decides that it is a perfect day to get a Snow Cone!
Walking down to the Snow Cone Palace with Angelina, Carmen was debating what flavor she would get, but she would soon learn that she wouldn’t need to, and soon it was. If you were there that day, you wouldn’t have missed the racquet. She got so heartbroken that she couldn’t get her beloved Snow Cone. But the Snow Cone Palace was doing so well when she had saw it last! She came to the conclusion that the Snow Cone Palace was not gone because it went out of business. She had to think things through, so she decided to take a walk. That walk ended up taking her right to the other side of The Land of Oz, to her best friend, Dorothy’s house. She hadn’t seen Dorothy in ages and she was glad to see her. After Dorothy and Carmen had caught up on news and such, Carmen started to tell her about the Snow Cone fiasco. Everyone knows Dorothy’s magical shoes, right? Well, as you know, Dorothy wanted to go home from The Land Of Oz and the ruby red slippers helped her get home back to Kansas, so Dorothy had the best idea to lend the ruby red slippers to Carmen to help get the Snow Cones back. So Dorothy thanked her friend and headed home to the other side of The Land of Oz. Here is a fun fact for you: Over the course of the year after Dorothy had traveled to the Land of Oz, she decided to move back there to be with all her friends and to be closer to Carmen. Most people don’t know that piece of information because Dorothy just decided to move back there a few months ago. It was in the news but only a very small paper written way out east. How they found out we are still wondering. Anyway…
Carmen was making her way back home just as it started to rain. Oh perfect, this day is the best! The only good thing was seeing Dorothy and getting these ruby red slippers. The slippers! She had already forgotten about them. All right, how do you do this again? Click your heels together and make a wish. That’s it! She said to herself “ I want Snow Cones, I want Snow Cones, I want Snow Cones”. After Carmen finished her wish, she ran all the way home ignoring the rain the whole time. When she got back to the southern part of The Land of Oz, she ran right to the corner of Hodgkin’s Alley and Broadway to her unicorn, Angelina, where had left her tied to a street lamp. She felt so relieved that she had her unicorn and she had made her wish that she skipped all the way home and went to bed early. The next morning, she went as fast as her little legs could carry her all the way to the Snow Cone Palace and it was there! She was relieved and very ecstatic. She went over to the Snow Cone Palace and saw Rosalind, the annoying owner of the vendor, but she was so happy and overjoyed to have Snow Cones back, she hugged Rosalind for 3 whole minutes. Rosalind of course didn’t know what was happening or anything, because she had been in a box in Ephaba Rodriguez’s closet. After Carmen had stoped squeezing the guts out of Rosalind, she asked what had happened. Rosalind was very confused and tired, and claimed to have a headache, but still confessed to have been shrunk into a box in some evil lady’s closet in Hodgkin’s Alley. Because Carmen loved Snow Cones so much and was very dedicated to them, she wanted to investigate who took her Snow Cones, and from the description that Rosalind told her, she knew it had to be Elpaba Rodriguez. EVERYONE knew Elphaba Rodriguez was an evil lady and EVERYONE knew that she lived in 6437 Hodgkin’s Alley, so Carmen slowly made her way to Apartment # 6437. She was going slower now because now that Snow Cones were back, who cared about going fast? After about 5 minutes, she arrived at Elphaba’s apartment. She rang the doorbell and no one answered so she pushed the door and it opened, just as in all stories like this. She walked in and right away noticed a huge pile of clothes on the floor. Strange, she thought. Everyone also knew that Elphaba was a very neat and orderly person, so this wasn’t like her, so she knew that something was not right. She very nervously made her way to the heap of clothes on the floor and investigated the pile. She realized that there was some clothes. Now Carmen knew her fairytales and movies, and she knew that Elphaba was related to a movie star, but now she realized that that movie star that Elphaba was related to was an evil movie star. Now Carmen knew that her best friend was an actress as well, but now she put together that the Wicked Witch of the West was related to Elphaba Rodriguez, so Dorothy worked with Elphaba Rodriguez’s 34 times removed 2nd cousin on her step aunt’s side of the family. Now she was piecing things together. So everyone knows how the Wicked Witch of the West died right? Elphaba Rodriguez melted! In the Wizard of Oz, the Wicked Witch of the West melted because she was defeated and Carmen defeated Elphaba from taking away Snow Cones. She now got it! Wow, this has been a lot for 1 day! She decided that she would take Angelina home and think things over, but first she had to call a few people. First, she called the Police Department to inform them to investigate the scene of Elphaba. She also called Dorothy to tell her what happened, and to come over to her house for tea and biscuits to celebrate getting Snow Cones back and also to celebrate the ending of Elphaba Rodriguez. Now usually Dorothy and Carmen didn’t like to celebrate the death of other people but this was an exception. Carmen also called the TV network so they could report to everyone that the Wicked Witch of the West’s last living relative died as well. Now the Rodriguez family was gone forever. Here is another fun fact for you: the Wicked Witch of the West’s real name is Margarita Anne Rodriguez. Most people don’t know that either. Elphaba and I were friends when she was solid and alive and she had told me what the Wicked Witch of the West’s real name was when we had to tea and biscuits together weekly. The Wicked Witch of the West didn’t like her name because she didn’t like to be disrespected for having the name of a drink. She felt ashamed, so she shortened it to and then somehow went from Margarita Anne Rodriguez to the Wicked Witch of the West. Weird, right?
32 years later.
Yes, that is the story of how I defeated the Wicked Witch of the West’s 34 time removed 2nd cousin on her step aunt’s side of the family. Yes, that is really me, Carmen Lopez Smith. I know, I know, my husband Robert doesn’t even believe it after 24 years either. “Grandma C, when is Grandpa Bob going to get here?” chimed Carmen’s grandchildren Esme and Willow. Soon children soon. While you are waiting, why don’t we have some Snow Cones?
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